Balancing Truth and Love

Our society today is great at taking sides. You’re either with someone, or you’re against them. Cancel culture is spreading like wildfire, allowing those who feel offended by certain ideas to simply block out the voices they don’t like. In the long run, I think this harms all sorts of relationships. The conservatives and liberals are constantly squabbling, and friendships and family dynamics can be torn apart due to ideological differences, leaving many angry, bitter, and mistrusting. After witnessing this for a few years in college and things and get escalated in grad school during the pandemic, it seems to me that many of these problems stem from a lack of truth, love, or both. Think about two common sentiments that have been popping up all over the place: “my truth,” and “you disagree with me, therefore you must hate me.”

Both are Universal

Now some might say, “It doesn’t matter if people have their own personal truths, they’re just speaking from their own lived experiences! It doesn’t matter if disagreement leads to hatred, these are just facts of life!” It sounds like these people are a bit confused on what exactly truth and love are, so I think at this point it would be helpful if I give a couple definitions:

Truth (n.): A statement that aligns with reality.

Love (v.): Desiring to do what is good.

I would wager that not many would contest with my definitions. Those that would might call them a bit narrow, calling into question what exactly “good” is, or how we can determine what exactly “aligns with reality,” but by simply examining human nature we can see the ways in which truth and love should be someone the most important things we aim for in life.

Think about it this way: what are some defining characteristics that set human beings apart from all others in the animal kingdom? I would argue that there are two. Our intellects are different than other animals’ at our wills are different. If the purpose of the intellect is to know truth, and the human mind can search all truths that are beyond simply following instinct, that I think of anything to say that truth is an important thing to be searching after. After all, I don’t know of many monkeys who ponder the reason for their own existence. The same thing with our wills. Since the object of the will is to desire the good, aka love, then it goes far beyond the emotions a household pet can display. We don’t lock pets in jail for breaking into things, so the morality of the actions of an animal can be said to be lower than those of us human beings. No one likes being lied to, and everyone wants to be loved. Those are just the consequences of our intellects and wills seeking what they should.

A Theological Perspective on Love

Up to now I’ve been talking mostly philosophy, requiring no help from the Bible or religious doctrine to state my opinion. In times like these however, a piece of Scripture will prove to be quite useful, the thirteenth chapter of 1 Corinthians. To give some context, the church in Corinth was experiencing many divisions, some over doctrine, but more so over how people should live. There were people in Corinth were committing all sorts of terrible sins, from flying into drunken rages to sleeping with their own mothers. To bring them back to sanity, St. Paul emphasizes the importance of love. 1 Corinthians 13:1 states, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” What Paul was explaining to the Corinthians was the fact that you could be totally correct in telling someone they’re doing wrong, but if you don’t have love, the truth is just noise. Like the old saying goes, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Where’s the Truth?

Ok, so hopefully I’ve established the need for love during heated disagreements, because if people don’t believe you care about them, they aren’t going to listen to a word you say; but there’s got to be balance on the other side too. I could be the most loving kindhearted person in the world, but if I can’t tell people the truth, even when they might not like it, well, that’s kind of unloving, don’t you think? For example, if I were friends with a heroin addict, he might “love” me if I offer him a dose, but pulling him aside, telling him the truth, and offering to help him get out of his addiction just might save his life!

That’s why truth and love can’t be separated, because you’ll drive people away, even if you just want to help make their lives better. But don’t fret! As long as we are all seeking the truth together from a place of good will, everything will turn out alright in the end.

Thanks for reading, and God bless you!