In early 2021, I began listening to the Bible in a Year podcast with Father Mike Schmitz. Though I had read many of the major Bible stories as a child, this was a chance to read the book in its entirety. I was also in the midst of doubting God's existence, not as a universal truth, but just in my life personally. It seemed likely that God did exist, but at that time I was unsure that he was a personal God, someone who cared for me uniquely. I read through the whole Bible starting on January 1st and finishing on December 31st of that same year, and I took away three big messages that have changed my walk with Christ forever. Now, to be clear, these three messages are by no means the only messages found in the Bible. The Bible is part of the inspired Word of God, a pool where both a child may swim and learn simple truths, while at the same time the most intelligent of theologians may search its unmeasurable depths and still gain new insights.
1. God Exists
In Genesis 1 I read, "In the beginning the heavens and the earth" (Gn 1:1). This sentence is so simple yet incredibly profound. Firstly, it tells that there is only one God, as opposed to the numerous gods of the pagans. We do not have Zeus or Thor or Ra running around with multiple other deities controlling the universe. Because God is the one creating the universe, there's a clear separation between the Creator and his creation. Genesis also reminds us that we are made in God's image. God is not made in our image, which means that despite all our efforts to distort him into a god who is pleased with everything we do, we would then be worshiping a false god.
2. God Loves Us
God truly does love us. We can see that in the opening pages of the Bible even after the creation. The fall of Adam and Eve is not simply a matter of God getting angry with humanity, rather it is a natural consequence of the actions they chose. To eat of the tree of Good and Evil is to be able to experience a life where God is absent. I did not want to have his children experiencing life without him, which is why eating from that tree was the original sin. The most incredible part about all of this is that since God is love, his rescue plan to bring us back to himself was immediately set in motion after the fall. He promised to send a redeemer that would crush the head of the serpent. He worked through weak and sinful men like Abraham, Moses, and David to bring about his Kingdom. Though his laws might seem harsh to us even today, their foundations are rooted in who God is, as both the god of love and justice. This all culminates in Jesus, who lived a perfect life. Though he was innocent, he sacrificed his very self just to bring us back to the Father and was resurrected from the dead to erase sin's harshest consequence. I do not think that there's a god in any other religion would willingly take human form, suffer, and die Just to show the extent of how much he loved humanity.
3. Do You Trust Him?
The last message of the Bible I want to touch on isn't really a message in the form of statement. It's a question, a question each reader must answer for themselves individually. Any serious student of the Bible knows that these aren't simply a collection of fairy tales, but actual historical events combined with some poetry, prophecy, and wisdom. And the Garden of Eden God asks Adam and Eve to trust him instead of the voice they hear around them. God asks Noah to trust him when he tells him to build an ark. In the New Testament, Jesus asks his disciples to follow him. He asks us to do the same here and now. Especially with all of the voices around us competing for our attention, the Lord still asks us to trust him. It is a hard road, but a worthy one, and even if we trust him, it may not be smooth sailing all the time. God won't force himself on us though, it's our choice, a choice we must make every day. A choice that will ultimately, lead to our happiness.
Hey! Great stuff. And so important to share. The kinds of doubts you describe are so hard to share, particularly to talk about. And Catholics for sure don't make it easy, very often when people share that kind of stuff the response your likely to get is something like "Actually the supplemental appendices for the council of Alpha Centarui said that God is present in your life definitionally." Not helpful! Not sure what the answer is but people often say that the best medicine is reading the gospel, actually sitting down and reading, sounds like you did something like that, when we have problems with God, taking it to the source is probably the healthiest thing to do.